I was born a twin. The only family I and my brother ever had was my mum. Mum told us we lost our dad as little boys. Life has been interesting despite with a single parent. She has provided all the comfort humanly possible for my bro and I. My brother is the good son and I am the unstable one (though different now). My mum has done everything she could to make me see life differently but have been too caught up in my world.
Things turned for the worse when my brother graduated from the University and he received his call-up letter to serve this nation Nigeria. Meanwhile I had to stay an extra year in school. He went to camp and I was home with mum.
I wasn't worried about not graduating and that worries my mum. She was always on my case reminding me every day. I invited my friends over for a house party but mum disrupted the party, embarrassed me in front of my friends and took the keys to the cars. She never again allow me to drive any of her cars. Hanging out is my thing, and driving is the fun part for me (mum knows this).
All of this got me very angry and I wanted to get back at her. A week later my brother was through with NYSC and I went to pick him up (this time mum released her car). Driving back with my bro I told him how badly mum has been treating me and that I wanted to get back at her. He pleaded with me to drop the idea of revenge and that mum only want what is best for me. I ignored him and an idea immediately dropped on my mind to scratch her car, i was glad this would at least make her spend money on the car for repair.
I was now searching for an expensive car to dent, I began driving carelessly. Amidst my stupidity I collided with a truck. I was blank for a few minutes but when I opened my eyes my brother was staring at me covered in blood and he said I TOLD YOU TO DROP IT. Those where his last words, he died shortly after saying that.
Two weeks later friends and family gather together for his funeral. My mum have not said a word to me since the accident, whenever i try talking to her, she will just ignore. I saw my mum hurried off after my brother was laid to rest. She came back to the house after two hours with two cars. She said to me (she called my name placing the keys of the cars on the table) TAKE THESE CARS, YOU WANTED TO DRIVE BUT PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY SON.
I was speechless for a while then I tried apologising she left and entered her room and locked the door. All effort to speak to her that night was useless. In the morning of the next day I went to her room to say sorry, the door was still locked. I called out to her but there was no response. I decided to let her be. The pastor came around in the afternoon and I went to tell her about his arrival still no response, I then became worried. I pleaded with the pastor to come talk to her, he did and still she didn't say a word. We immediately forced the door opened, there she was and this will hunt me forever. She was dead (she hanged herself).
Am yet to recover from all of these. I pray every day for their forgiveness cause obviously i have come to realise that am just the real boko haram of my family. The sky at night is my only companion, I stay late watching it searching for shooting stars (if what they say about shooting stars is true that it takes messages to the dead, whenever I sees one I will say tell mum and my brother AM SORRY).
LIVING ISOKEN